Time is on my side

I know (like everyone else, I assume) I sometimes get wistful for days gone by, and yes, I sometimes even wish I could go back to the days of my youth. Really, who doesn't? Most of us grew up in a time where things were much simpler - for example, I grew up in the weird and wonderful 80s. Even though that was an extremely excessive decade, things were still simpler - at least for kids. At least for me.

Today's Tuesday Coffee Chat subject is " 17 Again! If you could be any age again, for one week, what age would you be?"

This question has always been a hard one for me to answer. On the surface, of course I want to go back to a time when the weight of the world wasn't on my shoulders, when I looked the best I've ever looked, when literally my biggest worry was wondering what was wrong with me because I never got asked out. I guess I'd go back to about ages 15-16. I kind of hated life then, but I also kind of enjoyed it. I was just starting to figure out who I am as a person, pretty much setting the tone for the rest of my life. Also, I'm really jealous of that girl. She had a kick-ass figure, got attention everywhere she went, and had some stunning hair (for the time).

And then there are a slew of other ages I'd love to be again. Really, any age when I didn't feel completely defeated and hopeless and jaded would be nice! And although I have found much to celebrate even in my current situation, I still panic if I stop and think about things too much, you know? It's a scary time. So even though I wouldn't change anything other than maybe the always "try to eat better and stay fit" advice I'd give my any-age self, I'd like to go back to some of the better times knowing what I know now and just see if I couldn't try to enjoy those happier times a bit more.

Thirty Seconds To Mars' "R-Evolve" popped up on random sometime during my road trip this weekend (and also made it onto my #MusicMonday post) and particular bits and pieces of the lyrics really jumped out at me more than ever, especially this one:

"To find yourself just look inside the wreckage of your past
To lose it all you have to do is lie"

and this part of the chorus:

"Does it feel like we've never been alive?
Does it seem like it's only just begun?"

I guess it hit me so hard because I have worked my entire life to get away, for various reasons, from where I grew up. Yet now I plan to go back there. And the reasons for going back are good ones, but it still seems like a counterproductive step even though it's not. Also, I'm always looking for myself, never feeling like I truly belong, and like I haven't really been alive. But I am trying to learn that life isn't a destination, it's a journey. To enjoy the good things a bit more as they come along :) Thus far, time has been on my side, and I've been learning and growing into what and whoever it is I'm supposed to be. With any luck time stays on all our sides, right?

What age would YOU be again for a week?

The Rolling Stones - "Time is on My Side"