Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Time is on my side

I know (like everyone else, I assume) I sometimes get wistful for days gone by, and yes, I sometimes even wish I could go back to the days of my youth. Really, who doesn't? Most of us grew up in a time where things were much simpler - for example, I grew up in the weird and wonderful 80s. Even though that was an extremely excessive decade, things were still simpler - at least for kids. At least for me.

Today's Tuesday Coffee Chat subject is " 17 Again! If you could be any age again, for one week, what age would you be?"

This question has always been a hard one for me to answer. On the surface, of course I want to go back to a time when the weight of the world wasn't on my shoulders, when I looked the best I've ever looked, when literally my biggest worry was wondering what was wrong with me because I never got asked out. I guess I'd go back to about ages 15-16. I kind of hated life then, but I also kind of enjoyed it. I was just starting to figure out who I am as a person, pretty much setting the tone for the rest of my life. Also, I'm really jealous of that girl. She had a kick-ass figure, got attention everywhere she went, and had some stunning hair (for the time).

And then there are a slew of other ages I'd love to be again. Really, any age when I didn't feel completely defeated and hopeless and jaded would be nice! And although I have found much to celebrate even in my current situation, I still panic if I stop and think about things too much, you know? It's a scary time. So even though I wouldn't change anything other than maybe the always "try to eat better and stay fit" advice I'd give my any-age self, I'd like to go back to some of the better times knowing what I know now and just see if I couldn't try to enjoy those happier times a bit more.

Thirty Seconds To Mars' "R-Evolve" popped up on random sometime during my road trip this weekend (and also made it onto my #MusicMonday post) and particular bits and pieces of the lyrics really jumped out at me more than ever, especially this one:

"To find yourself just look inside the wreckage of your past
To lose it all you have to do is lie"

and this part of the chorus:

"Does it feel like we've never been alive?
Does it seem like it's only just begun?"

I guess it hit me so hard because I have worked my entire life to get away, for various reasons, from where I grew up. Yet now I plan to go back there. And the reasons for going back are good ones, but it still seems like a counterproductive step even though it's not. Also, I'm always looking for myself, never feeling like I truly belong, and like I haven't really been alive. But I am trying to learn that life isn't a destination, it's a journey. To enjoy the good things a bit more as they come along :) Thus far, time has been on my side, and I've been learning and growing into what and whoever it is I'm supposed to be. With any luck time stays on all our sides, right?

What age would YOU be again for a week?

The Rolling Stones - "Time is on My Side"

16 comments:

  1. A + song choice!!
    and I love this post. you've written so much of your self and spoken straight from your heart - wonderful. And I get all of it -- life is a journey, and the goal is to enjoy the moments we are given: try to hold on to the really good ones for a little extra time. Not let the bad ones destroy our spirits.
    Just try to find the beauty that's always just there, and be mindful.
    Love that you shared this! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad you understood what I was putting out there, Leslie! I really, really am trying to make sure I don't let a moment pass me by that I should have been present in - too many off those are gone already!

      Delete
  2. Wow!! Excellent way to share this topic!!!! Love this. To look to life from the present, past and to look forward to the future is really a great way to look at the BIG PICTURE.

    Well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Tiffany! I hope I'm getting better at looking at the big picture, instead of just staying fixated on either past or future.

      Delete
  3. I would go back to age 32 and spend twice the amount of time I did with my Mom. From that point forward she had ten years? Who knew, huh? But we had our best times, mentally, physically. spiritually, everything, when I was 32 and she was 55.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Missing you - should I have a pizza delivered?

      Delete
    2. I am sorry to hear about your loss. I suppose we really ought to live each day like it's our last, and spend as much time as possible with our loved ones because you just never know.

      Delete
    3. postscript: I'm sending pizza. did you get stmcc's link? did you get it? hahhaha!

      Delete
  4. I'm not sure what age I would like to re-visit for a week. I like the notion of the carefree days of my youth, but there were too many limitations. I think I'd settle for my mid-30s because that's when all my children were young (no real opinions yet) and life was sweet. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. What no BOTB for April 1. Miss you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Still looking for your BOTB. Guess you're real busy. Miss you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, yes. I've been like a dog chasing my tail here lately. I did not do a BotB this time, but will definitely be back on the 15th. Way too much stuff going on; I have no idea how you were able to do one in the midst of a move!

      I am trying to come around and see everyone, though.

      Delete
  7. Hey, KIM, are you
    "HELL AT NIGHT"?

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think about going back and doing things differently all the time. However, it would all be counter-productive unless I remembered how I actually did it. Then, it would get interesting because I'd change enough things that it would all be unknown again. The thing is: would it be better? That I don't know.

    See you for the next BoTB!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, so be sure to leave one! Pretty please? I reply to comments on here and return visits (although I can't promise to do so in a timely manner). I can only return a visit if I can find you, so if you're linked to a Google + account, please do me a kindness and leave me a link/tell me where I can find you in your comment :)